GFYC

In this case the "C" is for crows.  Seattle crows to be exact.  It appears that it is a well-known phenomenon here to be aggressively attacked by crows during the month of June. They are protecting their young,who will fall into the ground when they attempt to fly.  However, looking for baby crows on the ground is no indicator of whether you're on the crows' hit list.  Nope.  Just make the mistake of walking by a bush with a baby crow in it and you are fucked!!!  My brother in law did so and a crow took the baseball hat right off his head!!! (He was able to retrieve it when it was dropped!)  My sister got it yesterday and now feels the need to carry cashews around for protection. Another woman I know carries a baggie full of dog kibble!  It is purported that a crow can remember your face for an entire lifetime - so you can look forward to enjoying these attacks for years to come!  The idea is that if you give them food they remember you as a food source, as opposed to a latter day Tippi Hedren!

It's so much of a "thing" here that the Seattle Times is keeping a map of crow attacks!!!

Seattle Times Crow Map!!!

And there are videos up on You Tube

Crazy attack crows!!!

All I can day about this is REALLY, Seattle????  I've lived around crows my whole life and have never had to endure CROW ATTACK SEASON before. WTF?

FUCK YOU SEATTLE AND YOUR UGLY CROWS TOO!

GFYS or in this case GFYW Driver's license edition

I was going to try to write my anecdotes in chronological order but that will take way too much brain power. I'd rather just write when the mood strikes.  Today I took the day off of work to look for my cat (yes, I will eventually get to that..) but decided to run some errands too now that I have wheels again (more on that later too).  I went into downtown Seattle to get my brand new WA license.  Decent hair day - check.  Powder and lip gloss -  check.  Clean white blouse and my trusty hoops... yup.  Here's what we ended up with:

Really Washington State?  This is the best you could do?   Granted I should have filled in my brows this morning.  Do I really have a head the size of a melon?   And even though I wear glasses EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE, you insist that I NOT wear glasses for my license photos as this is your policy?  So I can't see ANY.THING. when they are taking the shot.  Really??!!!  GO FUCK YOURSELF WASHINGTON STATE.  Even though your license office was efficient and even though the people that worked there were smart and lively... remember I come from NYS where most DMV workers are a few sandwiches short of a picnic - if you know what I mean.  But really, WA... as I approach my 50th birthday I was hoping for a license picture I could live with for a few years.   I see I get to enjoy this one for 5 more years and by then I will look old and haggard for no other reason than the last 8 weeks I've lived here!

So please GFYWS.

Just call me BLIND MELON HEAD BOOTH, my new blues name.  Keep an eye out for my upcoming album... If I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't live in FUCKING SEATTLE.

Welcome to GO FUCK YOURSELF SEATTLE!

Hi and welcome to my blog!  We can call it GFYS for short!  After 20+ years in Boston, I had a mid-life crisis and decided to move some 3,040 odd miles to Seattle.  The Emerald City! Sea-town!  Queen City! Jet City!  The Rain City!  Gateway to Alaska!  The 206! Moving cross-country is no small feat and it is a beautiful place... but this city is trying to kick my ass!  And it's pissing me off!  So in order to blow off some steam, and hopefully amuse a few people with too much time on their hands, I'm going to spend some time writing about my experiences since I arrived here on April 5th!  I have to go out and try to find my cat right now (more on that later) but I look forward to regaling you with some of the crap that this town has thrown my way.

Please understand that I currently have a love/hate relationship with Seattle.  For therapeutic purposes, this blog is going to be dedicated to the hate.  Hope to see you back soon. I promise, if nothing else, it's going to make you feel better about your life!  =)

xo

HB